gray matter

Christopher Reeve and his cervical spinal injury :

Reeve considered suicide. He mouthed to Dana, "maybe we should let me go." She tearfully replied, "I am only going to say this once: I will support whatever you want to do, because this is your life, and your decision. But I want you to know that I'll be with you for the long haul, no matter what. You're still you. And I love you." and Reeve never considered suicide as an option again.

Dana Reeve loved to ride horses. In 2005, she told Larry King: "I rode my whole life, and after Chris had his accident, I stopped riding, primarily because he loved it so much, and I think it really would have been painful for him if I was going off riding and he wasn't able to."

CNS is insane but heartwarming stories like this makes me :)

vanilla twilight

picture credits : tumblr

because i m treating this blog as my personal space for expression, i need to let this out too. you know what i m struggling with the most right now? keeping lab matters and studies as two different affairs and not let either one affect my focus. its driving me crazy. ok keili, lab is lab, worry in the lab, scold, curse, stomp your feet in the lab but do not bring it to your room and affect your concentration when you study your notes. grrh. nowadays i m full of angst and frustration, and really, it has nothing to do with the exams. sometimes i do want to be mean, scold some people, tell them off, scream, shout and let the emotions all out so that i do not have to keep it in me. but i m a good girl :) gosh, being a good girl is tiring HAHHA. chin nam calms me down by stroking my back, telling me to not be angry and everything's gonna be okay. but inside, i really just want to run barefoot to his car, go to the backseat and curl up like a baby and sleep. its crazy but my only sweet escape now is the 'disco car'. it gives me a huge sense of security.

he told me to save my respect for the paramedics and the nurses, not doctors. not dentists. and that doctors are not greater than dentists too. but whatever it is, now whenever i see medical students, i just want to shake them out of their little minds and.. i dont know, just let them know. i think this whole miniseries of debate in my head is driving me nuts. after 2 years of dental studies, i ve only come to realise that i am really, still just so small.

hot air balloon

i ll suffocate from this thought of mine if i dont blog about it today. you know how we dental students, i presume, take pride in choosing the right course, one that almost guarantee very good working life and despite being one of the most busy people here in imu, we still take pride in it. but seriously, if you think out of that little oral cavity, out of that 2mm x 1.5mm x 4mm cavity that we drill using our high speeds and think out of teeth and pulps and gingiva, we are really nothing compared to what the medical people are doing. like seriously, we get all fussed up with pulp and pulp and pulp, we save pulps, we dont want pulps to die but how about heart failure, cancer, renal failure, respiratory problems. how bout stuff that impact people more? we get all frustrated when the world dont recognise us, dont allow us to be part of the emergency team, we frown and demand for a reason, we think we are all qualified. but the truth is, we are nothing compared to medical doctors who are dealing with diseases. dental professionals are dealing with something so special and unique, but we are nothing great. the medical doctors are the real deal.and with this, i m getting all angry inside. who freaking cares about unsupported enamel when they are people who really really need HELP? we study the biological sciences of the body, but ultimately we dont save lives, doctors save lives, we save teeth.

and no, i m not saying this because i have an exam tmoro.

on another note, today's emergency preparedness lecture is awesome, i dont really care about the content, i m just glad i laughed today.

sun shines through the rain

sixpence none the richer - kiss me, the carpenters - close to you, the bangles - eternal flame : songs played in the cafe. absolutely LOVE those small little places with yummy-to-the ear songs.

happy 17th ♥

the tide is high, but i m holding on -  atomic kitten :)

instant mood lifter 11.1

okay, i ve been meaning to share every single thing that are instant pick-me-ups to me, so here we go again :)michael buble omg :) he flirts with the camera okay. pay attention at 0.41. haha he did the same 'pretend shy shy and smile' in his 'everything' video too :) :) ahhhhh, omg my heart melts into a pool of goo. and the girl in the video i think is his actual girlfriend :( hahaha. OMG I WANT HIM.

haha. sorry chin nam. hee hee. anyway, one more paper down! was thinking, ah finally i can relax, until mom called and sort of reminded me that my next paper is next TUESDAY. oh man :(

旋律

dr saad surprised us all debaters with gifts from dr hanan, dr. muneer and himself after lecture today :) love it so so much. it is now smack right in front of me to serve as a reminder. even the blue wrapper is sho nicee :) was thinking how blessed i am and how thankful i should really be, amidst stressful times, there are still SO many happy-fying stuff surrounding me. really, i already feel like i can fly in the skies without wings. yesterday was a short but super happy-fying, because carrefour had SO many free food and drinks sample, i basically went amok like a crazy pasar woman there. and chin nam was like standing there 'admiring' me with a smirk. haha. and a simple lucky draw can instantly pull my mood up like crazy. and chin nam and his 'songs with beats'. he calls his car the 'pimp car' cos the songs are crazy hahaha. and also dinner today, sharing SUPER embarassing stories of our lives that really made my stomach cramp. it was a good laugh. and happy stuff really really do not come with a price :)

"some things in this life cannot be make up for sale and it is health" - my debate closing speech. and i say happy moments cannot be bought too :)

just had a paper this morning. another one this wednesday. 2/10 of the marathon. i m in my full spirits, and absolutely determined not to let a single thing bring me down.

earfood : 旋律 - Rynn Lim [take a listen!]

♥

pressed but not crushed

never really did despise the fact that i have to study so much for the exam, but today so :( really wanted to go to chin nam's friend's BBQ party :( :( :( but omg study has to be my top priority :( so i m having vege (lots of it), 2 minislices of pork, 3 minislices of chicken and egg for dinner, instead of chicken wings, chicken wings, chicken wings and BANANA CHOC cake :( more reason to dont like exams :( deprive me of good oily food. i dont like (really refraining from using the word hate) it when something's stopping me from enjoying myself :( really wanted to go back home too :( but oh mm gee semester 4 is crazy. okay, keili, just bear with it :(

these few days have been as if i m living to study, the heart is screaming for fun fun fun :) like going to nice places with chin nam for a proper dinner, WITHOUT rushing through the food and going home to study :( like watching a movie, and then another movie,  and sleeping till the afternoon sun wakes me up. but anyway, really thank goodness for wonderful friends, chin nam and my understanding mommy (haha sometimes she really do sound worried for me). keeps me sane. today's csu was kinda funny haha, 3 girls sitting on a bed like a row of kindergarten children. haha and oh chin nam, having fun being different personalities haha. and in cf, it made me just wanna burst out laughing because chin nam always have uncoordinated claps HAHAH. like, normal ppl '1, 2 *clap*, 1, 2 *clap*, but he just swings his arms and claps with NO rhythm. hahaa.

"you're my princess."

"and you're my butler!"

"wooh! rawr!"

"er, not gerald butler, but the real butler butler!"

"..oh.."

HAHA.

ok, those of you who doesnt know. he likes gerald butler ok. phantom of the opera. king leonidas. THIS.IS.SPARTAAA. *kicks some person into the well* HAHA

♥ you

no retreat, no surender - 300

clouds filled with stars cover the skies

you could be a sweet dream or a beautiful nightmare,
either way i don't wanna wake up from you

through my window, i can see

this whole week has been a REALLY long one. kickstarted the week with one of the six summatives for the month, and then 2 whole late nights to prepare for the debate and then, the debate day itself. how do one actually fit in 'study' into the whole schedule, and also not forgetting 'sleep'? :( but amidst everything, i kinda like this week. hehe. no doubt tiring, but i think i ve accomplished quite a bit this week. non-academic wise. i was telling chin nam that holding a mic really empowers me, i think it really does, and if he ever needs to give me anything, just buy me a mic! (hehe, i will then really be a jigglypuff!) i ve learnt so much from debating from sabrina really! how to structure powerful sentences and also to voice out. but then again, i will never want to be question answerer, because i think its super really tough. no preparation at all.

for the past 20 months that i ve been in IMU, i ve received emails and added by some on msn to enlighten potential/incoming dental students. and for each of them, i never forget to tell them how difficult it is. semester 4 is really the killer one so far, 6 summatives in a span of a month, and then 2 weeks of study breaks and then 4 days of EOS (finals). so basically, 10 papers in 2 months. i havent not started CNS despite being in the 4 week already :( i never liked CNS, but was looking at the timetable just now, i really have to change my attitude towards it and really manage it. i m not afraid of the exams, i dont mind studying at all, but all i really need it the right attitude to keep me going.

on a lighter note, come and listen to this song :) haha. makes me happy :) haha and oh, was telling chin nam that i know he really cannot fully understand what i m going through right now, but the least he can do is to always remind me to be happy. even a cup of guava juice can do the trick :)

when life gives you a hundred reasons to cry, show life that you have a thousand reasons to smile ♥

give me strength

i want to say plenty of things, but i dont know if i can really express what i feel right now.


semester 4 is gradually eating me from the inside out.

instant mood lifter 10.2

posted this dental check-up receipt on my study wall a week ago, not to remind me of the cost hehe but because i kinda did enjoy the dental chair experience. reminds me again of what i am doing, and will be doing later in the future. and the cheeky little fella had to scribble something on it! hehe nvm, it was good thursday after-school surprise :) :)